Wow I can’t believe our little boy is already over half a month old …. time is going by so quickly 🙁 which is totally different to last time! I’m trying to soak in every little thing and try and remember it all, that newborn smell that lasted two days & then the smell changed, I need that two day old newborn smell back – i so wasn’t ready for you to go so quickly!
Most of you will be aware to some degree how much I struggled after having Rue, this time round we put plans in place to try & stop that situation returning, starting with a planned Caesarean section. The week leading up to our booked in date I started to struggle with the thought of going through birth again, I messaged WM begging him to do it for me ha, part of me was so scared, so scared of what might happen but the other bigger half was more practical and knew we had to get through it.
It was a week of mixed feelings but I feel I coped with it really well, one of my biggest concerns was leaving rue, walking into the hospital on the Friday morning & waving him goodbye was truly so hard, WM had already told me I was wasn’t allowed to cry so then I didn’t distress Rue in anyway. We are way too attached to our boys and it really shows. It sounds bad but I believe you love a child differently when they growing in you compared to them being earth side, Rue was here in front of me & I struggled so hard to be apart from him, I love Ridley so much but that love grew a whole other universe the moment I met him.
As we had our section booked only WM & I went to the hospital, my cousin dropped us off super early & then took rue to nursery. We arrived at delivery suite at like 7:15am we got taken to our room (number 4) straight away & met the loveliest doctor ever, Hannah, (Grace – WM said she reminded him of you!) she was just finishing up a 12 hour shift but she couldn’t of been any lovelier! Shortly after Hannah left the antheist lady came into see us, Rebecca, again she was the most calming, reassuring, loveliest person! I love nice people in scary situations it makes the whole world of difference. She was supported by Hamesh & also Tracey.
Next in was our lovely midwife, well we had two, the main one was called Oli – she was fab! I don’t always take to midwifes, like you can have so many when your in hospital it’s only human nature to not take to them all right? This is the point where we realise mama made a mistake by not packing any nappies, I know I know who does this when they off to have a baby. We wasn’t sure if there was time for WM to pop and get some as we’d been told we’d be on our way to therate at 9am but they was also mention of an emergency section potentially needed & we’d be going down about 1030.
WM popped down to get some but it was closed, he came back up and then popped down again when Boots opened at 9am. During this time the surgeon (Ken Jones) & junior doctor (who was so lovely but I can’t remember how to spell his name) came to visit me, check me over & talk about the operation. Shortly after they left Tracey came back to take me to theatre – I wasn’t prepared, physically or mentally, my husband wasn’t here, I’m secretly thinking I can’t do this now. She was lovely & said it was fine to wait as she could take baby’s cot down to theatre ready, phew.
WM came back & I filled him in on all the people he’d missed seeing & that they wanted me to go down already eekk! Now was my chance to get dressed into my gown, which has no back luckily I had my dressing gown so I didn’t flash people on my walk down – top tip there. I don’t really remember the walk down I do remember the theatre doors & walking into that bright white room.
So the team are all in there waiting, I’m sat on the bed waiting, wm is sat next to me in his scrubs holding my hand. Rebecca starts off putting a canual into my right hand, she try’s my left but it doesn’t seem to want to play ball, I also struggle to have blood taken from this arm, she succeeds in the right hand, some local antheist followed by the canual, tracey is holding onto me & I’m shaking, she asks me why & I say because I’m scared.
Next step is the spinal injection, this I am not looking forward to, honestly I can’t remember feeling anything when I had an epidural with rue, I just know it was hard to get in as I was having contractions. Knowone really enjoys having needles stuck in them right?! WM is there right in front of me but I choose to concentrate my thinking to some tile shapes on the floor, this point I’m cursing him that I’m doing this again and that I’m also pretty much naked on a bed.
Unfortunately it took five yes f i v e attempts to get the drugs to spread throughout my lower body, she could get the needle in fine but the drug just wasn’t going in right. By the third time I’m really working myself up because I’m one of those stupidly annoying people who worries constantly & my next train of thought is ‘oh my god there going to have to put me under’ – que my worst nightmare & my mums worst nightmare! Luckily after Rebecca took my mind off the situation slightly by asking us where we both work & what we do it distracted me, I’m hugely committed to the organisation we work for and couldn’t be prouder to reel of stats 😉 she then starts to talk to me about her holiday in Portugal ha! & were in & the drugs are spreading and it feels so bloody weird like so weird, the kind of I’m not really liking this weird.
This is it – I’m ready, Rebecca’s with me & kens already to go, they start to tilt the bed im on this freaks me out a bit and I try and launch my self onto the nearest person being hamesh who can’t understand what the hell im doing, it’s hard to tell your body its okay you safe when half of it is numb …..
WM is sat next to me & Rebecca is behind me, I like to see her at all times after last times experience, we had music on, yes music, they’re all talking about what we should listen too, I’m shaking slightly & I check this is normal & it’s fine, there’s a weird pulling and tugging sensation going on, one I don’t remember from last time and it’s not overly nice but it’s certainly not causing me any pain, then there’s so pushing & a fair bit of force to get baba out of my tiny scar from before & just like that he’s here, our boy is here!
I’m sat crying as I write this, they hold him up so we can see him, he’s taken off to the side for literally seconds before being placed on my chest, I finally got to meet my boy & remember it! Oli is there with wm’s phone taking photos – again something else we’ve not had (I won’t be sharing these as I want to keep them private). He’s here our baby boy is here, delivered at 09:48am on Friday 7th April weighing 7’5 just pure perfection. Oli shows us a selection of hats, this just all feels like a dream, were picking a hat to put him in – I just couldn’t imagine this moment.
Rebecca is with us, she’s chatting away, I’m crying, baby is so happy, wm is rubbing my head, Rebecca tops up my canual with some drugs, they all discuss my vitals and I’m doing well, I’m deemed a low risk. The junior doctor peeps over & chats to me telling me our son is gorgeous & that It’s advisable to wait eighteen months before my next section ……. haha mate my baby is minutes old seriously!
Ken leaves & lets the doctor stitch me up, Rebecca pops into a side room & surprisingly this gives me comfort that I’m doing well if she can pop into a different room. She comes back and has cuddles with baby, they all smitten with him!
& that’s pretty much it, the other bits & bobs are a bit grim so I won’t over share some of the other ‘things’ they did to me after they finished stitching me up.
The team were AMAZING – I know I seem to say this a lot but they truely were just the best & we had the best possible delivery for our second boy & one that I dreamt off but thought would never happen you know. I’m so thankful to the team so thankful. I didn’t get to see Rebecca, Tracey or Ken after I was wheeled down to our room but I did feedback what an amazing experience they made it.
We’re back in our room the three of us, all is well, baby is feeding from me, papa is with us, oli & our second midwife are around but casually around, there’s no doctors panicking or any of that. It was calm & just easy you know. I got slightly cold after surgery so they heated me up with some hot blankets & a hot chocolate that WM straw feed to me 🙂 this worked a treat & my temperature was back to normal. I’m hooked up to a drip on my right hand side for fluids & potentially something else for two hours & my left hand side is the blood pressure machine, god I hate these things after last time suffering with high blood pressure after having rue. It’s set to take my reading every ten minutes but all is fine & it gets pushed to every thirty minutes I’m still doing fine so it’s pushed to every hour hallelujah I think.
I’m laid in bed with my little tiny human on my chest, WM is feeding me toast, six pieces to be precise – it was perfect! They decide to wheel me down to hazel ward about 3pm I think but just as they do I start to feel nauseous so they decided not to move me just yet, Oli goes off looking for some anti sickness stuff to push through my canual and after a while this stuff works and I’m feeling well enough to be transferred, the girls are so sweet though and take it real slow just in case.
& then there we are in our own room (thanks mama) with our little one waiting for our big one to come and see us after nursery with my cousin & we’re just loving life. WM decided that afternoon that he wanted to go home & be with rue that evening, he also wanted to stay with us but he couldn’t be in two places at one time so I totally understood. My mum came and stayed with me & you know what sometimes when you’ve just gone through something major having your mum around is just what you need. Woman understand slightly better than men & she was a m a z i n g as always! I know she absolutely loved spending those precious few days with us even if she did have the worlds most uncomfortable chair to sleep in / not sleep in 🙁
Ridley William Maguire welcome to the world our sweet boy, we love you so much & you’ve completed us as a family unit.