This is something I get asked a lot, it’s something I’m used too & always give the same answer. I chose to become a vegetarian at the age of seven & then a month later decided I didn’t want to eat fish either, the reason why ….. I personally don’t want to be eating animals. I don’t mind telling people why I chose to be vegetarian it’s the strongly opinionated meat eaters that I have a slight problem with, even now a days a lot of people don’t believe in being a vegetarian which is fine but please don’t be rude about it. One negative thing about being a vegetarian is the limited options of food when you eat out, I used to be a fussy eater, I’m still fussy-ish but nowhere near as much as I was but at times this can make it really hard to find somewhere that caters for me especially as most places class fish as okay for vegetarians & I tell ya that’s not cool.
I’ve lost count the amount of times I’ve been asked this, mainly when I had Rue/ when I returned to work & now all over again that we’re expecting. Everyone seems to want to know did I successfully breastfeed, am I planning on breastfeeding, do I want a second hand breastfeeding pillow – all questions I struggle with as to me does it really matter & what are you going to do with my answer apart from probably disagree. I think the hardest question was from a man I worked with who proceeded to ask me at the top of the stairway for everyone to hear who was walking past & I just didn’t really understand why he was asking me. The answer yes I tried breastfeeding with Rue, it didn’t go well. Did I give it 100% probably not and that’s because honestly I wasn’t quite feeling right after the birth & was still a bit traumatised. I did try expressing but again not much luck in that area, one night I expressed for hours like two hours and I got half ml from it. I remember turning to WM & just pretty much giving up. My thought is that I was being pumped with so many drugs that it just wasn’t going to work, sometimes I think we know our bodies better than some of the experts (I remember midwife number seven of 269 I had whilst in hospital with Rue telling me I was 4cm dilated I knew I wasn’t I just knew, they sent me down to delivery and confirmed I wasn’t 4cm I was 1cm). This time round I’m not answering that question to anyone as I don’t know yet I will do what I feel is right for my family.
This is mainly from the people closest to us & that’s because they know how tight I am with our money & because they know our situation better. Once you have a house/ get married/ have kids you pretty much have nothing left each month & for us that’s how it’s been pretty much since we moved out in November 2012. Admittedly it’s got a lot tighter this last year as we now have very expensive nursery fees & I’ve taken a 20% pay cut to reduce my hours. I am so careful with our money I almost budget every penny & I know a lot of people would struggle with this way of living & it’s definitely not for everyone (if we want something we save for it which takes time) but it’s how we survive without living in overdrafts & off credit cards & you know what it works for us & we’re not unhappy because of it, yes some months/ most months we have nothing left in our accounts at the end of the month but it doesn’t really matter. I’m very lucky in the fact WM goes along with my penny by penny spreadsheet & never ever kicks off a fuss & never ever asks for anything. Because realistically you don’t need to spend money to be happy & that’s how we choose to be & we’ll set that example to our children.
How do I do it
Haha this one is so common & I always look at the person asking the question trying to understand what they mean! How do I work four days/ run the house/ be the sole driver/ do the family organisation/ be a mama/ be a wife/ be every other role I ‘should’ be doing/ go to work on no sleep if Rues been poorly/ the list goes on – to me it’s just the norm it’s what my life is now, it’s full on like so full, until you do it you won’t understand (Gowar I know you get me ♥) but you just keep going. Yes it’s tough & yes I moan & yes sometimes I ask for help, not that much in my opinion as we try to stand on our own two feet as much as we can but my mum will help me when my washing bin is over flowing & she will make sure I have enough washing powder in & that I never pay for it, Kel is always on hand to have Rue if I need a breather, you need the energy of a Duracell bunny 24/7 for boy toddlers in my eyes & tie that in with working & being pregnant let’s just say I’m thankful for the toy story fascination we have going on at the moment 😉 WM is A M A Z I N G & does far more then most men would ever think of doing so that definitely makes my life easier. He is the biggest babe. It’ll get tougher this year I’m sure but what is it people say it’s best to have them close together, I hope that’s true!
Do we plan on having more
After Rue I said no more haha, mainly just to shut people up, can’t we just enjoy our son for a while before people start asking us this on repeat! Plus something’s are best kept between husband & wife. Do we plan on having more after baby number two, honestly we’ve spoke about it & that’s all I’m saying 🙂
A lot of people question how we do this, again this is mainly built on three things A.WM is an amazing cook, I never cook B.we eat what we’ve put next to that day & that’s how it stays C. I do all the shopping & meal planning. This is how it works – once a week I’ll spend an hour of my evening (feels like such a waste) planning our breakfasts/ lunches/ dinners for each individual and then I’ll do an online food shop to go with this. A lot of people say they couldn’t decide a week in advance what they’d feel like to eat & I can understand this, the first few months of being pregnant I survived on whatever I felt like but otherwise it works for us & we just get on with it. WM likes to be able to look on the fridge & see what he’s cooking and just do it. We spend roughly £40-£60 a week on food for all of us, not including nappies/wipes/growing up milk.
It’s amazing how in 2017 some people are still so anti tattoos, I can understand the older generation (Juney was never a fan & I get that) but seriously even now so many people openly say how much they hate tattoos after asking me about the ones we have 😐 something I’ve always struggled with is the starers, this is mainly when we’d be on holiday (so we’re talking years ago now haha) but a lot of people would stare at WM & judge him based on a bit of artwork & okay yes I’ve done this to some people as well but some peoples are god damn awful so that’s allowed right? The people who have a cheap tattooist tattoo their neck with ‘MUM’ or the people who have football related ones you can’t help but look & think oh dear. Kids who stare I understand that as well but over the years they has been a lot of staring & comments made & I’m so defensive of my family that I don’t take well to it. WM on the other hand couldn’t give a shit what people think, one of the many reasons I love him – he definitely keeps me grounded!
WM doesn’t drive
Yes he doesn’t drive & no he’s not planning on learning to drive & yes sometimes when I’m in a mood & driving here there and everywhere or sat in traffic I’d love for him to take over but it comes down to the fact I knew from day one he wouldn’t ever be interested in learning to drive (he’s a motorbike man,although sold his so we could use the money to get our mortgage – babe right?!) so I either accepted this or I didn’t & it’s something I accept & fully support, doesn’t mean I don’t moan to him every now & then and doesn’t mean I don’t get fed up with people bringing it up like it’s a big deal. Generally it works for us, sometimes it can be tricky when it comes to alternative arrangements to get Rue to nursery but I have an amazing cousin who steps in every time to help & has kindly offered to take Rue to nursery every day after I have baby for a while. We live within walking distance of our work/ shopping centre/ town so having two cars to maintain isn’t necessary (tax/petrol/insurance/servicing) my goodness I don’t even want to think about it!
What we plan on doing when my maternity leave is up?
This I don’t know, I’m not even thinking about which in all honestly which is so not like me I’d normally have planned in my head it all but I totally haven’t & I don’t plan on doing so until much closer to my return to work. I know by the time I go back to work we’ll have some government funding for Rues nursery costs, currently 15hours free child care to babs over three so this will halve our nursery bill (although there is talk of this being increased to 30 hours – please happen please happen!) that’s all I know/ have thought about & that’s how I intend to keep it. Plus I know we have two years left on our fixed mortgage so that gives us some peace of mind also so I’m not worrying, we know it’ll be tight this year but we also know it’s not forever & we plan on enjoying our family time & not worrying unnecessarily/ until we have too.
Does Rue sleep through
Yes he does, has he always most definitely not. Rue started sleeping through around eleven months which tided in with when he started nursery, the two seemed to go hand in hand together, thankfully as by that time we was both back at work full time! We had a really rocky period around five months and my god it was so hard, it’s not only draining surviving on such disturbed sleep its also heartbreaking to see your child not coping and at that age it’s pretty hard to explain to them. We tried everything, the t-shirt in the cot, the controlled crying all the tricks, most didn’t help, Super Nanny has a gentle controlled crying technique that I started around nine months and it worked a treat (it basically says to lay your child down, let them cry for two minutes, go in reassure them & touch they chest, then leave the room increasing the time to 4 minutes, go back in etc etc) this worked so well for us & it wasn’t long before Rue would settle, it didn’t cause the hours of crying like controlled crying can do. Getting Rue to sleep/ lack of sleep has been whats caused the very few arguments we’ve had, WM isn’t one to cause a row or cause atmosphere and I’d say we’ve probably had three big arguments in Rue’s whole life mainly due to sleep deprivation. Rue now goes up and gets ready for bed at 630 with milk at 7pm and the aim to be asleep by 730pm, he’ll then sleep through until between 530am and 7am. He hardly wakes up in the night and if he does its mainly my fault because I’m up using the bathroom so regularly 😐
hope your all having a lovely weekend!