h a l f w a y t h e r e ♡

So this week we hit the next big milestone of 21 weeks with baba & it was time for our scan, I must admit I feel like I’ve blinked and the eight weeks in between the twelve and twenty week scan have just disappeared which part of me is really sad about because I know this is the last time & I need to make every moment last, even those moments when my head is firmly spent down the toilet …. okay maybe not those times! I’ve felt baba move so much earlier this time round which has been lovely & also reassuring for those early weeks, only if your a worrier like me.

We decided on a recent car journey to Ikea to not find out what we’re having this time round, papa led on this and I agreed. Honestly I find it hard sometimes when people get hung up on the gender of their baba or other peoples babas. This time round i’m so much more aware of other peoples struggles/ problems and it makes you realise that it really doesn’t matter what you have, surely the main elements are A you are having a baby & B that baby is healthy -basically it’s just a pet hate of mine when people are just all about the gender & don’t get me started on something i’ve come across this year which is ‘gender disappointment’ when I heard this for the first time the poor person who used the term in context during a conversation was just left looking at me with my mouth on the floor.

In terms of names I picked the first boy and girl names many many years ago and these were Rueben and Florenece, so if we have a girl her name will be Florence. Papa has discovered a boys name when we was pregnant with Rue and we both adore it!! All i’m saying is it’d be another R and only two other people than us know this name as we didn’t want to put it out there in case someone else used it first ha! Rue has a middle name and that’s something i’d like to continue if we have a boy but if we have a girl it’s not something we will do, again this is something I’ve decided and I don’t really know why I feel strongly about this i’m lucky that papa is fine with this 🙂

So when we first started telling people we was having baby number two a few people commented on what we’re going to do – at first I was slightly taken back that this was their first response and what did it actually mean. They meant what are we going to do about our house, most of you know we live in a two bed house, a generous two bed house compared to some three beds in our area (know-one wants a box room for a third room right!) We’re not financially in a position where now is the right time to move, the last three years or so have been a financial uphill struggle what with buying our first house, redoing it from top to bottom, getting married, having Rue, buying a new car and now baba number two – honestly we’re just about surviving now let alone when we go down to one wage. Plus our mortgage would probably double to get the right property for us & now just as i’m planning going off on maternity is not the right time to think about this, but this comes down to my upbringing, my mum is the most amazing influence & has backed us during every step to help us get where we are now. What i’m basically trying to say is we save for everything we have, we don’t live beyond our means and we certainly don’t survive each month on our tiny overdrafts.

We absolutely adore our home and the neighbour hood we’re in and it’s our intention to stay in this house until Rue starts school in September 2019 (this sentence has been hard to write and even harder for papa to accept 🙂 ) the reason being we live four houses away from the school we want him to go to so it seems stupid to move before we get him in and the other reason is when he’s at school we won’t have to pay nearly £1k in nursery fees yay! plus baba will be coming up to their third birthday when their own nursery fees will be reduced because of the fifteen hours free funding you get the term after their third birthday / if the government change this we’re potentially screwed.

As I mentioned above I find it hard when people say ‘what are you going to do’ – we don’t see it as a big issue, for the first at least six months baba will be in with us (Rue stayed in with us until he was about four months old and then went into his own room) & then we’ll go from there. Rue has a really big room which we have started turning into a playroom/ bedroom but there’s plenty of room for another little one to be running around in there. I’ve been following the lovely Taza on Instagram f o r e v e r! her life always makes me think of family.life goals! ♡ but more importantly their a family of five who live in a NYC apartment on the second floor with three children under six, their don’t have a washing machine and can you imagine dragging a Bugaboo Donkey along with three children up and down those stairs every day! Plus as one friend said as she looked at me like why are you even letting this bother you – there’s people living in tin shacks all over the world and they don’t moan and just make it work.

So getting back to our scan, I didn’t particularly like our scan lady, WM thought she was nice but me not so much. Our appointment was on time which is quite rare we find, the annoying bit was the car park machine only lets one car in as it let another car out – quite a stressful situation when your in a rush. Our appointment lasted ninety minutes including a twenty minute sweet tooth stop and dance session. Numerous visits to the bathroom, trying certain positions, eating and drinking sweet things, exercise & dancing – eventually she managed to complete all the necessary checks/ measurements and take all the photos she needed, baba was wriggling around so much which made it so much harder for her to take photos of the heart, looks like we have another mischievous one on our hands (p l e a s e be less energetic then your big brother 😉 ).

So here we are at twenty one weeks with you little one – mama is looking forward to meeting you, hopefully this time i’ll get to enjoy your birth & even dress you for coming home ♡ (instead of being in a bubble of surgery shock)


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